papabear79

     So this is my first time.  Be gentle.  I've had a lot on my mind lately and since I can't make sense of it and the people that know me can't either, I figure why not talk to complete strangers.  You can get some good advice that way.  You may ask yourself, "Self, what would trouble this man enough to finally break down and enter the blogging world?"  Well it's love.  Of course.  What else affects a person enough to make all the answers too distant to figure out alone.  I'll start at the beginning.  I met this girl, we will call her "Lee".  Lee is beautiful, talented, sweet, and she loves me.  Now, what could be the problem?  Well, I don't know.  I love her.  Deeply and with all of my heart.  Lee is stressing right now.  She is in school and is very involved in her major.  I have no problem with that.  She broke up with me right before she started this semester.  After 4+ years.  She said she is in a weird spot right now and she can't explain what she is feeling.  But she says it has nothing to do with me.  She said she still loves me but she apparently can't deal with me and everything else that is going on at the same time.  Oh yeah, I forgot, her mother.  She doesn't like me.  I have never hit Lee or cheated on her or done anything to intentionally hurt her.  Lee's mom doesn't like some of the choices I have made with my life.  Well neither do I.  But I have done everything with the best of intentions.   Lee's mom thought I owed her an apology.  For what, I have no idea.  So I agreed to meet with her.  That never happened.  So I wrote a letter.  And it didnt work.  Where Lee fits into all of this is that she still lives at home with her parents.  If she even comes over to have dinner with me, she gets ignored, for days sometimes.  They treat her like shit for loving me.  Now her father is not an issue I don't think.  He seems to be okay with me.  But Lee's mom rules the roost, wears the pants, so on and so forth.  So there is little chance for me to get any help from him. 
     I love this girl so much.  Our relationship has been a long and rocky road.  Mmmmm....ice cream.  But there is nothing I wouldn't do for this girl and she knows this.  I know I should just give her the space she wants and just see what happens but that is hard for me to do.  I love her too much to just stand by and do nothing.  But when I talk to her or see her on campus, she acts strange around me.  Almost cold at times.  I'm assuming it hurts her to see me as much as it hurts me to see her and not be able to be affectionate and hold her and try to make her feel better.  I don't know.  It's all so damn confusing.  How can she be so quick, after 4 years, to just break up with me for no real reason.  There wasn't a fight.  In fact, the night before, we had a nice dinner with no kind of hint of anything being wrong.  The next morning, her mother talked to her father, who in turn talked to Lee and that was the beginning of the end.  She is a daddy's girl.  And I have no power over that kind of magic.  Oh did I mention this isn't the first time the whole thing has happened?  She's done this before.  She loves me but her emotions are all over the place sometimes.  Her family has a history of mental illness and hormone problems.  So maybe this has something to do with it.  Sigh

So that's my problem.  I'm going to try to stick it out.  I love her too much to let go.  regardless of how much it hurts.  I know she still loves me.  When she says it, I see it in her eyes.  So maybe I'm not really looking for advice.  Maybe a few kind words or some insight from someone who has been through this kind of situation.  Keep me in your prayers, thoughts, or whatever it is you do when you do that thing.  And thanks for listening.